I Could

You'd think that after three kids I'd be something of an expert at being a mom. That is simply not the case! Everything is new: every age, every child, every experience.

When I started with training day I thought, "It will be rough, but I've done this before. We'll be done in a few days, and I will WIN this stubborn battle." Huh. Pretty cocky, wasn't I? After six miserable days of doing everything I could possible do to get my little man to care about being potty training, I decided to back off. I can fume, cry, pray, beg and yell, but when it comes down to it, I can't make him do it. No amount of skill from supposed "experts" is going to make him WANT to do it. So as hard as it is for me to swallow my pride and decide to wait for him to be ready, I had to do it.

I've decided these experiences are good for me! Looking back, I've realized my other two kids were easy to potty train. Three awful days, and we were done. I have to confess that I've looked at other parents who went back to pull-ups and thought, "Come on! You're the parent--don't give up this battle!" How ignorant and judgmental of me. I had no idea what was going through those kids minds, or the parents. I'm certainly no expert at parenting my own children, let alone someone else's.

Last night, as I was deliberating "giving up" on the whole idea for now, I was praying and remembered an experience I had when #1 was a tiny baby. He was absolutely refusing to nurse. I hired a lactation consultant, saw my pediatrician, and did everything I possibly could to get him to latch on and eat. I was SO frustrated with this tiny baby who wouldn't eat--if only I could explain to him how much better breast milk was than formula, surely he would try. In a moment of complete desperation I prayed, "Couldn't you just MAKE him nurse?" The answer that came immediately was strong and simple: "I could." Of course He could, but He wouldn't take even a baby's choice away. Even as such a tiny baby, my little guy had to make his own choices. And now my little man has to make his own choices--I can't MAKE him do anything. And I just need to remember that's how it should be.

So training week is over. I'm hoping the next one is more of a transition week since we'll be waiting for him to decide it's time.