Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad MESS!

Today I cleaned up the worst mess I have ever had to clean up; yes, it was worse than anything coming from a human I have ever had to clean up.

But I'm ahead of myself. A week ago #1 came home asking if we could adopt a pair of guppies that they used for their "organism" unit in science. Knowing we will never have another pet, I reluctantly agreed. Unfortunately I waited too long to get food (obviously), because within 2 days one of them bit the dust. I don't scoop dead fish. I just don't. So I asked my spouse to take care of the dead guppy. Being the man that he is, he agreed. And being the man that he is, he forgot. By day 3, the water was getting a little murky. We fed the live one for a few more days, letting the poor fish stare at the other dead fish. Yes, my spouse kept "forgetting" to take care of the dead, and now stinking, guppy.

This morning #2 got to feed the fish for the first time. When she did, I noticed the fish did not rush for the food as usual. Later, when both kids were with me in the living room, I broke the news to them that the second guppy had died. They rushed in to the kitchen to check it out. Two seconds later I heard a shriek like nothing I have heard before from my daughter. When I walked into the kitchen I could smell it immediately--3-day-old-dead-fish-smell. DEE-scusting! She had dropped it on the counter, where the two dead fish landed, as well as a large cup full of murky-fish-food-filled-and-decomposing-fish-water. The fish stayed on the counter, the water did not. It ran down onto my tile, into a draw full of dishes, onto the cabinet, the stove, and inside a cabinet full of dishes. Seriously, I almost packed up the kids and left. I don't scoop dead fish (didn't I already mention that?!?).

Being the responsible mother that I am, though, I stayed. I may not have been happy, but I stayed. I gagged my way through almost an entire roll of paper towels and half a bottle of 409, put all the dishes in the dishwasher, and managed to keep baby out of the dead-fish-water.

Needless to say, I told the kids that we are never getting another fish.

A Thief Among Us!

I have always dreaded the day that one of my kids steals something from a store; I've even gone so far as to imagine what it would be like to march my 4 or 5 year old back to the store with the half-eaten candy bar or opened toy and make him/her pay for it.

Today it happened, although it was a completely different version from the one I imagined! I went to Sprouts with baby and #2, and it was a disaster from the beginning. Baby bopped #2 on the head with my sunglasses, and then threw them on the ground without me noticing. First crying fit from #2. Then I ran into #2's legs with the cart. Second crying fit. Then she ran into the handle on the cart and began crying for the third time. When I finally looked over at Baby, I realized why he was being so quiet. He had somehow managed to reach the display of sugar snap peas and was happily chomping away at one. I'm just glad it wasn't a jalapeno!

So--I went to check out and instead of marching my 4-year-old with a half-eaten candy bar to the clerk, I handed her a bag with one soggy, half-eaten sugar snap pea and had to explain that my 12-month-old had stolen it. Nice, huh? She actually didn't make me pay for it, to her credit. AND she had my sunglasses as I realized that baby had thrown them overboard as I was leaving. Nice clerk. Very naughty baby today. Luckily he's so stinking cute that you can't get upset with him!